I'm at a loss for words.

I'm so back and forth, flip and flop about this whole "situation". It's as though I just ripped a band-aid off a very fresh healing wound.. good job Lyndsay. As of lately I have been over thinking every action I and the people around me make, someone make sense of all this. I've now been living in Winnipeg for 6 months .. HALF A YEAR. How in the hell did I last half a year here and how am I going to last another however long I am here; someone just pick me up and take me home. /i wish




see yeah later summer, maybe we'll get along better next year.

but how am i supposed to believe you

How is it that today is September 1st of 2010? Makes no sense to me at all, where did my summer go? I am overwhelmed with different emotions lately some of which make me feel slightly uncomfortable. This whole living on my own thing is going pretty good so far except for the fact that I'm always super broke which is never a good sign, especially when I haven't "bought" new clothes in forever.. should probably hit up some malls soon. In the back of my head I have a lot of doubt and questions about everything but i'll let it drift from one side to the other until my head is clear./ no trust.


I'm bored and have to work in about an hour.. so not looking forward to another day in that place although I had some pretty delicious sushi today which always means I'm going to have a good day, now if only I could nap for a few hours..... YAWN



do you feel safe yet?

i'm leaving my fingerprints, leaving you my legacy

It's not been 10 days since I have moved into my humble little one bedroom apartment and I couldn't be happier. Things are pretty lonely when you live alone and don't have a TV not that I would watch one if I had it. I had the most eventful, crazy, out of this world weekend and it will not be repeated ever. I would also like to say a big FUCK YOU to Wasabi sushi for having such delicious tasting sushi but trying to charge an arm and a leg for cream cheese and teriyaki sauce.




There's a stranger in my bed, There's a pounding in my head
Glitter all over the room, Pink flamingos in the pool
I smell like a minibar, DJ's passed out in the yard
Barbies on the barbecue, Is this a hickey or a bruise?



Last Friday Night
Yeah, we danced on table tops, and we took too many shots
Think we kissed, but I forgot, Last Friday Night
Yeah, we maxed our credit cards, got kicked out of the bars
So we hit the boulevard.. Last Friday night

i just wanna run, throw it away.

It's really weird how much you hear when you just stop talking for a minute. The past couple of weeks the topic of conversation hasn't changed much which has made me begin to think is it me who's crazy or everyone around me. I hate familiar things because that only means I'm becoming settled and comfortable and both those two things aren't me... I've taken a step back from the circle and also realized how loud and obnoxious some people can be yet I don't even care (besides the fact that I'm annoyed). I think its time to get down to business and hope for the best. [HOLY FUCK IT NEVER STOPS]




I'm also finally moving out/half moved in. Going to be living in the Village, hello adult life and responsibilities. I think I'm trying to grow up too fast and need to take things down a notch but you just fucking annoy me so I am trying to prove you wrong and be nothing like you. Not so bitter sweet now is it?

Counting down the days till I get to see two of my best friends/babes/boys from Vancouver, August 14th come sooner love love love.



I'm going to go to bed now I think, "date" tomorrow.. this could be interesting. Don't call or text me anymore till you figure out your issues also. I also forgot to add how much fun I've been having with the loveliest lady (meaghan) lately and cant wait for more late night bike rides to come and to my other favorites who have been feeling down lately; I love you all to bits and pieces. CHEER UP!

you build me up just to watch me fall apart

This routine is starting to drive me crazy. I've always wanted stability and structure and now that I have it I am going mental. It seems as though everyday I wake up hoping its Friday because from Friday to Sunday are the only days that involve spontaneous decisions. I've never felt so trapped in my life and it might have something to do with the fact that I've been in the same spot for the for the past 4 months; if I could I would be on a plane back to Vancouver in a heartbeat, don't think I'm running away from my problems because as of right now I don't think I have any.. just need change and to see the people I miss dearly. I'm also tired to "people" taking things way to seriously and creating awkward vibes, NOT INTO IT.



"she said don't leave me alone tonight, she spoke with intoxicating eyes
she said don't leave me alone tonight, she spoke with intoxicated eyes"
Your getting the best of the worst of the both of us.



drunken words are so convincing but so is the truth
ill never love you but ill still respect you

i'm going to smoke some marijuana now and hope my brain doesn't explode before work.

Monday.. really? I actually forgot I had a job and responsibilities after this wonderful four day weekend we just had. This weekend was slow and sober and I don't quite know why. Me and "the Captain" are/were? on break I think we'll see what this week bring because my mouth is dry. I've been lusting over this jean body suit but its so beautiful and I need some extra funds to purchase. Anyways sitting here on my couch at 12:02am Tuesday July 06 2010 .. which makes it 3 days closer to the weekend.




- - - -
super empty and alone but enjoying ones own company.
i have really begun to like the silence of my apartment.

you can come out anytime, getting kinda bored thinking about waiting around.






THEY NEED TO STOP PLAYING TIK TOK ON HOT 93 OR WHATEVER THAT STATION IN. IN A 7.5 HOUR WORK SHIFT I HAD TO HEAR TIK TOK - K$SHA 9 TIMES.. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE AHHHHHHHHHH.,

you make me wanna die

Yesterday was Monday and I got drunk .. luckily I didn't wake up this morning with the hangover I had expected and thank god for milk being my cure for everything and the lemon lime gatorade I apparently drank in my sleep. It's nearly July 1st which means Canada day is just around the corner which means more drinking and partying (sorry liver and kidneys) ...


I'm going to be finding out about an apartment in Osborne sometime this week and once again my fingers are crossed but I am not getting my hopes up for anything as that kind of shit is always on edge .. none the less I cant wait to live on my own/+ with mitch and play video games and smoke joints all night after work and then a kitty will come.




I've also been doing some online window shopping which will turn to online shopping on Friday when I get paid, it's summer and I need some new threads because the shit I have just aint cuttin it la de da hello FOREVER21 AND WASTED YOUTH tee you will soon be mine.

Take me im alive, never was a girl with a wicked mind but everything looks better, when the sun goes down...





Quick update on the "LL" .. it's pretty non-existent lately but you still aint getting any satisfaction from me asshole. GROW UP AND BLOW AWAY.